Journal #3

Part A: Historical figure

     Alain LeRoy Lock was born September 13, 1885 in Pennsylvania and died on June 9, 1954. He was sometimes known as the “Father of the Harlem Renaissance”. During his life, he was a philosopher, writer, and teacher.

     Education: Central High School graduate in 1902. Attended Philadelphia School of Pedagogy and graduated from Harvard U. in 1907 with English and philosophy degrees. First American Rhodes Scholar. Admitted to Hertford College from 1907-10 and attended the University of Berlin in 1910. He received his Ph.D. in philosophy in 1918.

     After being denied entrance to Oxford based on his race, he began to see that discrimination was a problem worldwide. In Germany he studied about participation of minorities in society. After returning to the U.S. he created his most famous work, Race Contacts and Interracial Relations: Lectures on the Theory and Practice of Race. He portrayed a very utopian society in which multiple ethnicities could live together.

     Locke wrote many important philosophical articles; primarily, The Problem of Classification in the Theory of Value where he determined that opinions and social biases are not universal as we develop them personally. In other words, they are not objectively right or wrong. Overall he was instrumental in setting both a precedent for Black academic success and for his new philosophical insights into race.

Part B: Dialect

Pronunciation Rules

1.       W -> v

2.       Th -> z

3.       E -> ay

4.       I -> ee

5.       U -> oo

6.       Hard K consanants

7.       Heavy Rs

8.       Drop soft consonant sounds at the beginning of a word

Word Rules:

1.       Yes -> Da

2.       No -> Nyet

3.       Friend -> Comrade

4.       Idiot -> Palin (or imbecile for males or those less liberally inclined)

Structure Rules:

1.       Do not use the word “to” before verbs

2.       Eliminate/modify the words “the, a, an, to”

3.       Singular antecedents

4.       State of being becomes a descriptor

5.       External phrasing perspective

Part C: Conversation

(In the interest of full disclosure, please proceed to read at your own risk. I am not responsible for any eye/brain damage, intellectual trauma, or horrified shock caused as a result of the murder of the literary world)

“Hello, my name is Sean. Welcome to Wal-Mart how may I help you”

I looked around cheap, plasteek oogleeniss eenside ze store. I turned bak and found zat stup-ee-d Amereekan vas trrying talk to me. “Da. Ve’re is ze ammo for my veaponry?”, I demanded.

“I’m sorry, did you say weaponry?” He replied confusedly

“Da, you imbecile. I’m searching for some veaponry! Oo do you zink I vas talking to? Zat man in ze turbin?” Imbecile looked at watch and sighed. It valked to ze bak and mutterred oonder his breadth. “Excoose me, vat vas zat?” I demanded.

In contempt, store clerk glarred at my person. In great Soviet Amerrica, no one vas so rrude. This nyew country Oregonia deefinitely moost be poonished. 

“Due to recent legislation, I’m afraid that armament shipments have been prohibited. We apologize for the inconvenience and can direct you to further areas of interest.” 

Zis new peoples ‘as quite strange new country. Zey moost all be imbeciles to outlaw veapons. Visout ze guns, how do ze protect against guns peoples. If only for ze Great Collapse, ze’se snivel-bellies vould has no chance against Soviet corporation. Perhaps zis land be infiltrated in different vay… “Ah vell, Nyet a need. Soon no more mooslims anyvas” I chukled as ze stoo-peed von vent for ze alarm.