Mini-Pastiche #2

Christian turned his head as he rose, the sweat dripping off of his forehead. He walked over to his best friend, Brian, who patiently waited by the side of the mat. Christian could feel the cool pads sliding under his feet and as the proud belt around his waist tried to choke him with excitement. As the walls undulated and the air blurred, Brian provided a smooth oasis in the desert of heat. Christian’s vision immediately sharpened to read the pride emanating from his friend’s face.

“Christian, you were great!”

“Thanks, it was fun. I have a small headache now but it was worth it.”

“I hope so. You all worked so hard for this. Even still, you don’t look so good. Here, why don’t you sit down.”

“Oh Brian, why don’t you stop these worthless insults about my looks just to get the attention off of you.”

Brian smiled at the joke with ease. The sun smiled with him as Christian continued to enjoy his buddy’s company. While earning his black belt only showed one small aspect of his seemingly limitless talent, Christian realized that without his companion, he would have lacked both the courage to try and the enthusiasm to continue. He seemed to live for the warm glow that would come from Brian’s face. He looked over at Sam who glowered in the shadows-he could not stand to absorb the sun’s strengths. His own achievements rendered meaningless-for how could an achievement have meaning without one to share it with.

“Those were the happiest times of my life” Christian muttered soberly. Why did I let you suffer? As if leaving the one who made his life happy for college wasn’t bad enough, now he would eternally guilt-ridden about the possibility of preventing Brian’s death. Forever more would he say, “If only I had been there”. Overhead, the storm finally broke and rain poured down into the cemetery, the last rays of glistening hope forever stolen above the sky.`

Techniques

#1. I used a confidant to be the method of storytelling (albeit, the confidant is dead which makes this particular example an apostrophe). This mirror’s Janie telling the story to Phoebe in the book. Additionally, note that this method of storytelling does not present it as dialogue to the confidant, but rather as an entire story from a distinctly externalized point of view.

#2. I used dialogue to demonstrate how different characters compare, contrast, relate, and interact with each other. While I did not use the same tone or dialect, the dialogue still plays an important role in allowing the reader to see how the characters behave (considering the limited point of view Hurston maintains for most of the book) and to show dichotomies between the main character’s thoughts and their physical reaction. Also, note the lack of character labels outside of quotations.

#3. I used personification to help reveal both the theme and simply in detailing the main character’s reaction to other non-human objects. In particular,

#4. Imagery in non-dialogue setting exposition. This allows for a quick hook before the story and occasionally continued to keep the reader’s interest.

#5. Use of sensory metaphors.

#6. The presentation of a flashback setting that progresses to the present.

#7. Rare usages of 1^st person narration during emotionally tense scene.

Theme: Physical experiences are superseded by our emotional/intellectual connotative investments in the situation.

(This Journal appears late due to lack of internet connection)